Is this real life?

Hi, my name is Erin and I'm a mom. Hard to believe I am so blessed. I have thought  and dreamt about this day for so long, and it's actually here. 

On July 23rd I was admitted into the hospital. I was having pretty frequent contractions and they were semi-strong but I was still put on pitocin because I had trouble dilating. I went through 18 hours of labor and...

On July 24th at 11:42am, I saw the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. I automatically fell in love in a way that I never knew was possible. I saw myself and my husband linked together into one tiny 6 pound, 8 ounce body. She was everything I imagined and more. They layed her on my chest and for once in my life I felt complete. There I had my husband next to me and my daughter infront of me and it was the most beautiful moment I had ever experienced.

My husband and I couldn't be happier. He is so good with our baby girl and it makes me love him even more. I love our family of three, and am so thankful for these two people who have only made my life better. 

Welcome to the world Stassi Leighann.

Possibly my last blog...

Before I give birth! Our little lady is due on the 21st of this month but she may come earlier. We are considering being induced the week before her due date. This mommy is SO ready to not be pregnant anymore!!

I cannot believe how quickly time has passed with growing this little one inside of me. It's been a crazy 9 months. 2 of those months I didn't even know I was pregnant. Then I moved to my grandmas, and then my moms, and then finally with my husband when we got married. Because of all the moving and chaos it seemed like I never had a moment to rest and time just flew by. 

At the same time, I feel like time went by so slow. I feel like we have been waiting for this little bean of ours to come for so long now. Our hearts are just filled with so much joy. 

I had a pregnancy that wasn't so easy and at times it wasn't very enjoyable because I couldn't ever seem to just catch a break to be able to enjoy my little one. But it seems like the past couple of months I have been less sick, although way more tired and hot haha but I just love being able to feel her move and see her move. And she finally stopped being shy when her daddy put his hand on my stomach! She used to stop moving as soon as he put his hand down on my stomach...what a little diva haha but now her daddy is her best friend and she loves playing with him. He will poke her or talk to her and she will kick up or roll around. It's so neat. 

I've received so much advice from people during my pregnancy which has been so helpful. My family has been super great. And I swear I couldn't have made it through this pregnancy without Erincka. She has been such a great friend always encouraging me to ask questions or asking me how I'm feeling and just keeping up with me and how my pregnancy is going. I value her input so much and am just so grateful for her and am grateful for my other mommy friends who have kept in touch too. 

So I guess all I have to say is STASSI WE ARE SO READY FOR YOU!! Your daddy and I are so excited to see you and hold you and just love you. You're truly our angel...our perfect bundle or joy and hope. We love you!! 💗

The Dad.

I've realized a lot lately that pregnant women seem to feel as though they are alone...like no one is there for them and no one could possibly know how they are feeling. But one thing that really bothers me is that no one gives credit to the dad's. 

Now I realize that not all guys stick around with the woman they got pregnant. And I realize not all guys are necessarily involved in the pregnancy. But let's just take a look at the men who are actively involved in their women's pregnancy. 

Can they feel your physical pain? No. 

Do they know what it's like to have all their organs and intensities pushed to the side leaving no room inside of them? No. 

Do they have a sudden urge to pee all the time? Are the boobs sensitive or leaking? Do they have to constantly throw up? No. 

BUT that doesn't mean they don't deserve the credit and that they don't have anything they are going through. 

Dad's, especially first time dad's, experience emotions that can be uncontrollable for them. They are there to hold your hair when you're throwing up and tie your shoes when you just can't anymore. They run you to the store to pick up your latest craving and pick up breakfast for you when you can't seem to get out of bed. They massage your back legs and feet like it's going out of style, and they constantly go through your mood swings with you. They have to watch what they say in fear of how you're going to react because they never seem to be able to know what mood you're in for that moment. They put together all the furniture and move all the heavy boxes because you're unable to. And they even let you sleep when they're working around the house and you can't seem to muster up enough energy to even take a shower. 

At least that's what my husband does. 

And I'm tired of society downplaying the dad's, saying that the women are going through this alone. Like I said some women do go through this alone, and I feel for them but when you have a man who is willing to be there and be a part of things then why should he get tossed to the side as if he does nothing of importance? 

I don't care what anyone says but my husband I are pregnant. WE are pregnant. He goes through hell for me and for his daughter and does it with such remarkable joy. 

So thank you honey, for everything you do. In my eyes you are already the #1 daddy and I know Stassi will feel the exact same way. 

Catch up with me

Well I realized I haven't really done a post of my life in awhile so I figured, for those who care, I would update you and myself (because let's face it...preggo brain is a REAL struggle and I've probably forgotten about half of my life recently) thank God for camera phones ;)

Well this week I have hit the 30 week preggo mark. Pure bliss. HA

I can't believe it has passed by this fast. I am now in my third trimester where I struggle to tie my own shoes, bend down to pick something up, and let's be honest...breathe. My tummy is growing by what seems to be the minute and everyone keeps asking me questions everywhere I go about this little bundle of joy inside of me. 

Regretfully so, I have not taken pictures of my tummy growing week by week like I had planned but I just have to accept the fact that even I am not perfect - hard to believe I know - (in case you missed that, I was being sarcastic)

The lovely morning sickness is still with me. I was one of those lucky women who got to experience throwing up my entire pregnancy. But I must admit it's more of a routine now than anything. But besides all of that I am happy to report that everything has been "A OK" during this pregnancy and I haven't had any real complications which is a thanks to God, especially because of my PCOS. 

Other than the pregnancy, my husband and I have been fighting ourselves to get our apartment all unpacked and ready for Stassi's homecoming. I know I know, still not unpacked seems just ridiculous but then I think about it and did you know we have barely even been married for 2 months?! Crazy because it feels so much longer. So I guess although my normal self would have had major OCD and unpacked the whole apartment by myself if I had to, my pregnant self has taken her time...don't judge ;) BUT we have finally been getting a move on it and I am also completely happy to report that our 2 dogs and our fish are still alive so we are doing something right. 

My husband and I work for the same company and I recently got moved to another organization and got a little pay raise and who knows what else is going to happen job wise...we are definitely thinking about that one a lot. If I could, I would stay home forever to be with my baby girl, but that's just not possible yet. But I trust that God knows what He is doing for us...after all, His plans are always better. 

and can I just take a minute out to say how thankful I am for my handsome hubby? Not only does he work the same crazy shifts I do, but he is also kicking school's butt while also being an amazing dad and husband. He rubs my legs and feet and back and almost never complains ;) He also just got baptized and I am so proud of the man he is and is still becoming. Whenever I complain about something he tells me "Rome wasn't built in a day...isn't that what you white people say?" Oh yes he is full of jokes but he makes me laugh and I couldn't appreciate that more. He is just the most perfect support I could have ever even asked for. 

Other than that, our lives are pretty routine. We hang out with family or hang out at home while he plays video games...we are super fun haha 

Well, that's it for now. Here are some pictures to enjoy...

xoxo - Erin 

Blessed.

I've been trying to write a blog for some time now, but can't seem to find the right words to express myself. I have so much gratitude. And so much love that has filled me lately, it's really unbelievable. I've found a new outlook on friends. I used to be an avid speaker about how friends should ALWAYS be there for you. And as much as I agree with that, I really have a new outlook on friendship. See friendship isn't about what you can get out of it; it's more about what you give. Now I recognize how frustrating it is when it seems that your friends aren't putting as much effort into a friendship as you are. Are you the one to always text first? Are you the one who's always concerned about that person? Are you left feeling like they could care less about you? ...in some cases this could be true but in most cases I have found that those are just temporary feelings you may have. I went around for a long time feeling like I really didn't have any friends. When that is the furthest thing from the truth. I have a lot of friends actually. And although I may not hear from some of them for days, weeks, maybe even months...when I need them, truly need them...they are there. But I've found something that feels even more rewarding. Me being there for them. Whether they are going through a hard time or I just take the time to text them and say hi really quickly. See, what we need to realize especially in our grown up adult friendships, is that people are busy. I've heard the complaints saying well no one is too busy if they really care. Which I believe to be true but only to an extent. See when a mother loses her child, it's not about her being there for you...it's about you being there for her. When someone miscarried, it's not about her asking about your life all time, it's about you asking her how she is feeling. When someone has moved across the country and has really crappy days, it's not about her keeping up with you, it's about you giving her the understanding that life gets busy, especially in new places. When someone is pregnant, it's not about you feeling left out because you weren't the first to know things, it's about feeling blessed because you get to be a part of it somewhere along the line. It's looking past those silly things and really wondering what you can do for them. And trust me, they'll reciprocate for you. Friendship isn't about being together all the time or talking all the time. It's really about what you can bring to the table. Do you pray for that person? Send them encouraging texts or even hellos? Do you recognize them by liking their posts on social media or even writing a quick comment here and there? Maybe I'm crazy but to me, it's really the little things that matter. And I am so blessed to have the friendships I have. Especially lately. Thank God for growing up and I thank Him for showing me what it's like to really love someone and not always making it about myself. Remember, life gets busy. People may not respond right away or find the time to text back immediately. People have problems they are going through - REAL problems and it's our obligation to be the best friend WE can be. At least that's how I see it. 

Sweet, Sweet Pregnancy

I love being pregnant. And I love the fact that God blessed me enough to let me be pregnant. I am thankful up and down and around, trust me I really am. But there's a lot about pregnancy that I wasn't exactly prepared or ready for...not that anyone ever would be for these types of things. As wonderful as pregnancy is, I decided to make a list of things that aren't so pleasant about my pregnancy lol

1. THROWING UP - hands down I was not prepared for how much I would be throwing up. I know some women experience this for their first trimester only while others never experience it at all but i have experienced it over and over again and it has yet to stop. Hospital trips. Medicine. The whole nine yards and I'm still going at it.  Throwing up sucks and I cry because of it. Shout out to my husband who just holds me during those times and says "it's almost over babe."

2. Mood Swings - whaaatuppp my name is Mrs. Moody Mc mooderson and I have the ability to bite your head off for any little thing. This makes me irritated. Sure, I was always a woman who was easily pissed off (shocker I know) but this takes it to an entirely new level. My ability to freak out on someone is like a super power I have never seen before and I am not proud of it. I hate it. I'm mean. And crying...I cry at everything. You can tell me I look different today and I'll automatically assume you're talking crap and get mad and cry. But I promise I'll get back to normal soon enough.

3. Going Places - I HATE going places to socialize. I probably love you and on any normal day of not being pregnant I would love to see you and hang out with you but right now that's not usually the case. Usually I'd rather just sit at home while eating ice cream and watch TV with my husband. (Don't worry about him, he's safe - he knows how to handle me) I hate crowds and I hate a lot of noise. Right now it just irks me.

4. Sore boobs - Not only are my boobs super sore but my nipples are constantly hard. And when I say hard I mean hard. And when they get super hard like that they HURT. I mean these things should be illegal to carry around because they could cut someone. And when they are hard I just sit there and rub them hoping they will somewhat flatten down and get warm. Then I look like a pervert out in public. But of course i dont care...Say something, I dare you.

5. Itchiness - I know not every girl experiences this but I just so happen to be super lucky that I have excessive itchiness. Everywhere. My feet OMG my feet. My legs. My arms. And even my butt. And you know when my butt itches while standing in the middle of target, you best believe home girl is going to scratch it. It's real attractive. Oh boy...The struggle is real girlfriends.

6. Tired - I am exhausted all the time. My feet are swollen and my belly is growing day by day and the simplest tasks of putting my shoes on or making my bed is seriously difficult. Walking to the bathroom is something I actually think about sometimes and I think "How much longer until I SUPER have to pee?" It's embarrassing. I'm so tired all the time. I've never experienced this type of exhaustion and I hear it only gets worse.

7. Bladder Control - throw that bladder control out the Window ladies because I have none. I pee all the time. When I throw up. When I sneeze. When I laugh. When I get scared. I pee. I'm like a leaking machine. I remind myself of my little dog who pees uncontrollably. And something that's even more exciting, is I hear that your bladder control never comes back. I will forever be Erin the peeer..

8. Farting and Burping - holy shit did that just come out of ME? Yes honey, yes it did because your ability to hold your fart and burps in no longer exist. They just slip on out whenever they want to. They're not quiet about it either. Sure there are times when I have a warning coming but for the most part it's just obnoxious. I told you ladies, the struggle is real.

9. Short Term Memory Loss - I may not be as bad as drew in 50 first dates but I swear I am close enough. I can't remember anything. Tell me something and 20 minutes later I am sure it's not even close to my mind. I used to remember everything so well. I'd never have to take notes or set reminders for certain things and now if I don't I am a lost cause. It's pathetic. Pregnancy brain is real.

10. Weird things - Weird things start happening to your body when you're pregnant. And although I don't experience them all like hair growth on my face or belly, my body is plenty weird. For example this may be TMI, but the discharge you get is INSANE. I will be sitting at my desk and my body will jump because I just got a giant shooting pain up my woohoo. One boob is bigger than the other and my stomach gets lopsided. It's so weird.

BUT with all of this being said, I would trade my life for anything. Pregnancy is hard but that's why God gave it to us women ;) I cannot wait to see the precious girl my body had the privelage of making. And of course my husband helped make her too...He likes to get his credit in there too ;)

I got married :)

As most of you know now, I got married on Friday to the one and only Yonatan Saavedra :) I am so so happy - words can't even express how I feel. It was much of a surprise to most people I know. Very few people knew it was coming and I know a few people's feelings were hurt because of not being invited BUT I promise only immediate family was invited. We are going to have something bigger later on where more people will be able to come.

I can't even begin to tell you how easy, fun, and joyful our day was. I spent time with my family before we got married and it was so relaxed and calm. I know that's because it wasn't a huge wedding but I also just had the biggest peace in my heart. After all, we weren't only officially joining ourselves together, we were blending our families together with our daughter in the middle and it couldn't have been better and sweeter.

I am so blessed to have the in laws that I have. I have always been accepted by them and never questioned by them, even though we weren't always in the best situation. His family has always had open arms to me and I couldn't be more grateful that stassi will have such an amazing family. And thank God that I get along with my mother in law - she is the sweetest :) and of course my parents just love Yonatan. My mom and him joke around all the time and my dad just loves his style haha Everything about the day between the families just made me happy.

It's so crazy how free and happy I feel inside. The man I married is definitely a keeper. All of the things I need and want in a man, he has. I know nobody is perfect but he is perfect for me and I am so thankful that God has blessed us the way that he has.

I love you Yonatan and am so proud to be your wife!! :)