What I want from my husband if I were to die...

Saw a blog along the same lines of this & thought I'd write my own blog to my husband. So here it goes...

I don't plan on dying anytime soon. In fact, I would like to stay around long enough to at least see my first grandchildren. But sometimes you just never know when that moment will come. I've joked with my husband about how I'm worried my children will never eat a proper meal if I pass away while they're still young. He jokes back about how they'll have hot dogs, ramen noodles, and hot Cheetos. 

I don't expect my husband to really know all I do for this family. Like how certain clothes are folded and put into the drawers while others are hung up. Or how Layla's bottles are hot pink while Stassi's are light pink. How I wash them separately so the nipples can't be paired with the wrong bottle. How certain dishes go in certain places. How certain bills are paid. Or how there's a certain cry that each of our children have that indicate what they want at that moment. There's a lot that goes into being mom. There's times my sweet husband can't find something where it's been right in front of him, but he calls on me to find it for him. It's part of being a wife, a mom, a loving caretaker of the family. But I have some requests for you my sweet husband...if I die before we expect. So here it goes. 

1. PLEASE make sure our girls eat proper meals. Vegetables, fruit, meat, and not too much sugar. If you need help, please take lessons from our families. I know you cook some mean carne asada and you cook hot dogs and hamburgers like nobody's business. But you will need to eventually learn how to make steamed broccoli and asparagus. 

2. Please make sure our girls go out in proper clothing. MATCHING outfits, including their shoes. You've said often that shoes are shoes. But trust me, to girls it means more. With that being said make sure their hair is brushed and done. And their teeth are brushed too. I know you know this. But you are also used to me doing it, so just a little reminder. 

3. Please make sure you all continue to go to church. Tithe your 10% and serve God with your entire heart. Read the Bible to our girls and get involved in church activities. If I were to go sooner than expected, the church will be the most comfort to you, I promise. 

4. Get our family members to babysit, and take some time out for yourself every now and then. At that point, you'd be a single daddy & you'll want a break sometimes. Don't feel guilty. You're doing a great job. 

5. Follow your dreams. Teach our children to follow theirs. Do what's right for you guys even if others may not agree. 

6. Make sure the girls have sleepovers. Let them be girls. Let them squeal & scream. It's fun to be a girl. Let them live it out. Buy them dress up clothes & play makeup. Paint their nails & if you need help with any of that, once again, ask our families. 

7. Teach them how to work on the cars. Watch football with them. Teach them how to play sports and video games. Teach them about tools and computers. I want them to grow up learning just as much about you and what you like to do, as they would about me and what I like to do. Girls aren't made just for shopping & gossiping. 

8. Don't be too hard on them. I'm sure if I go anytime soon, you'll want to keep them even closer. But let them explore (not too much). Let them learn their own lessons. Let them date (please) and let them have fun growing up. They'll only be their ages once. And it will be some of the best times of their lives. 

9. Keep them around family. Travel with them. Have daddy & daughter dates, both together and separately. There is nothing like the bond a girl has with her dad. And they'll need that with you. Make sure it happens, please. 

10. Last but not least (and I'm sure I can think of more later) maybe possibly look for love again....or not. I mean if you want I guess. As much as it pains me to think of you with someone else, I want you to be happy. Make sure she treats my children well or I will haunt her for the rest of her life. But really, you deserve love. You deserve a partner in life. Please take your time with it. But don't close your heart forever. 

I have confidence in you as a daddy. I know that you'll be great with the girls if I ever happen to meet God before we expect. But I think my requests are reasonable. 

Love,

Me

Dear 2015...

Dear 2015,

It was a bittersweet year. Some parts bitter. Some parts sweet. Truly a year of trials and blessings. You introduced me to childhood cancer. Something I have never seen first handed. I saw my nephew suffer. I saw his tiny body decrease in weight. I saw his belly get really big. And I saw multiple holes put into his body for surgeries, tests, and to drain the fluid out of his body. I saw life brought back to him. And I saw God heal him. The definition of bittersweet was seeing his progress through it all. 

My baby girl was born. I was given such a sweet gift, although a month earlier than anticipated. And wow, she is perfect. My first baby turned one and that was so exciting. I've seen both of these girls grow, learn, and develop their personalities. Total opposites but best friends. 

I celebrated one year of marriage with my handsome. I've learned a lot about marriage. What to do and what not to do. And still learning how to be the wife I want to be. But I learned how truly blessed I am to have this man in my life. 

We found an amazing home church where God has lead us to be active and serve. I've never been so excited to learn God's word. I truly learned what it meant to live in God's grace. There's nothing more beautiful than God being able to meet me exactly where I am. I don't have to fix myself or make myself perfect before He can deal with me...He can deal with my anytime, anywhere. And that has truly been the biggest blessing I could ask for. 

This year I have grown into my own just a little bit more. I've tried to figure out who I am, where I want to be, and where I want to go. My perspective on somet things have changed. And even silly things like my hair has changed. I've noticed how smart I am. How funny I can be. How strong I am. How hard working I am. And that I am happy with who I am, even if I haven't lost all the weight I want to. I'm beautiful the way I am, inside and out. And I truly believe that. Some of my insecurities have gone away and I'm more confident in who I am, in the mother I am, in the wife I am, and in the marriage I have. 

I've developed a few close friendships that are near and dear to my heart. We bought a home that fits our family so perfectly. We've gone on some vacations. We've laughed. We've had dance parties in our living rooms. We've cried. We've switched from our friend who babysat, to my mom who now babysits our girls. We've been pursuing better jobs. We've spent time with family. We've been swimming and to the park. We were introduced to a lot of new things in this year. 

As I said, this year has been bittersweet. Some things exciting. And some things heartbreaking. But we have been truly blessed this year. 

So 2015, thank you. Thank you for the lessons and the heartbreaks and the happiness. Everything we went through this year has helped shape us into the family we are. And I will never forget this year. It's one for the books, that's for sure. 

Hello 2016....

Half a year has flown by...

So our little Layla is officially 6 months old. Half a year. Which is practically 1. Which is practically 18. Ugh...that's how it feels anyway. 

Layla at 6 months:

-Is getting so much more active

-Smiles SO much, which is crazy because when she came out, she mean mugged hardcore. 

-Has the sweetest little attitude and spirit

-Loves her sister and literally watches her wherever she goes!

-Sleeps through the whole night (thank God!)

-Likes to "talk"

-Laughs a lot, especially when daddy tickles her

-Loves to play with daddy's facial hair!

-Loves to dance, especially in church when the band starts playing. 

-Helps the pastor preach every Sunday!

-HATES being held by strangers!

-Loves flipping back and forth and rolling and scooting. 

-Still only has 2 teeth! 

Layla bug...you're the sweetest. You make our family way more sweet and cute than it was before. Seeing you and your sister together just fills our hearts. We love you so much baby girl. 

{I will have to post pictures later}

17 months and counting...

I'm always late posting these blogs but Stassi is 17 months and we can hardly believe how fast each month keeps passing by. I mean, I still just can't wrap my head around the fact that children really DO grow up so fast. 

Stassi at 17 months:

-is a chatter box. She says a ton of words. 

-Loves her sister so much

-Doesn't like to cuddle much unless she's tired

-Has started to scream when she does not want to do something (so much fun *insert sarcasm here*)

-Almost always turns away when someone asks her for a kiss

-Likes to do things by herself. She's extremely independent. 

-Loves swim and is really good at it, especially for her age. 

-Is a lot more shy than she used to be. If she isn't around you a lot or doesn't know you, she clings to mommy and daddy and just watches people. 

-Loves playing (but what child doesn't?)

-Still won't drink milk out of anything except a bottle 

-Actually does really well with Not touching the Christmas decorations and Christmas tree. 

-when she does something she isn't supposed to do I point my finger in the air and wave it back and forth and say "no no Stassi" so now she'll go to do something she knows she shouldn't be doing but then sticks her finger in the air and says "no no"

-Loves to smell feet and make nasty faces

-Does really well in the church nursery/class

Stassi, you are so big and I would love if you could just put yourself on hold for a little bit while my mind catches up BUT since I don't see that happening I'm just going to enjoy you while you grow. We love you our sweet girl. 

{I'll have to add pictures later. I got a new phone and my pictures are on my computer!}