I question God.

I know a lot of people don't believe in God. Or maybe they believe in Him, but don't quite get the salvation plan that has been so graciously given to us. But I'm not here to preach to anyone or try and win them over to Christ. Maybe I should, but that's not what I'm aiming for with this post. 

Lately I have questioned God. A lot. I'd say that ever since I had a friend lose her child, I have not understood God. Why He lets these things happen...why He doesn't stop them. Why He lets nice people experience such heart ache. After my nephew has started to go through what he's been going through, the questions keep coming. I'm angry with God. I question Him daily. I yell at Him and express to Him what is truly in my heart. BUT with all of that being said...

I trust God. My God is an almighty God. And He knows what He's doing. I may not understand, but that's okay. I may not feel like any reason is justifiable but it's not my place to call that judgement. I'm not God. And because of that, I will never understand His reasoning. But that brings me peace in a way...if I could understand God fully, why would I need Him? I'm glad I don't understand Him in everything, because it lets me know that I'm running on faith and faith alone. And what a beautiful relationship that is. How beautiful to love someone you have never seen, never heard, or never touched...but in every sense, I have felt Him. He's there. Everywhere. All the time. He never leaves me. And in my toughest times, He just covers me in His love, grace, and compassion. 

I've been tested for the past couple years. And although I have sinned and fallen short, I have never felt alone. And that's because I KNOW without a doubt God is with me. Even when I'm angry at Him and just want Him to go away...He never does. He is a voice in my head, in my heart...an ever present love around me. And I'm so thankful for that. 

I pray that He continues to teach me through these tough months and years. That He continues to remind me daily that I can trust him with anything & everything even when I do not understand anything He is doing or anything He lets happen. He has made us a promise. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.." -Romans 8:28

That means in all things, good and bad. And I have to hang on to that promise no matter what. 

Thank God for giving me such a pure love and for giving me the salvation I need that will lead me to Heaven when my days on this earth are over.