Mixed emotions.

Ever have a period of time in your life when all you feel is confusion? Where all your emotions just seem to mix together? Where periods of time during your day you're wondering if you really ARE bipolar like you've always been told you are? Yeah...me too. And it's not the best feeling, but I guess there could be worse feelings too. 

It's a mix between happy and sad, content and restless, peaceful and angry, and complete confusion between "my life is going great" and "what the hell am I doing with my life?" Don't get me wrong...I think this is a natural feeling and maybe mines intensified because I'm experiencing my "time of the month" (TMI, I know) but damn...sometimes I wish I could just run from this feeling and pretend all is well in Erin's world. 

But truth be told, feeling this is probably the best thing for me. Being still and facing all the problems and chaos in my life head on is what's best for me. Because it's in that time where I am able to truly reflect on God and what He wants for my life. What His plans are for me. Where He wants me to be and wants me to go. 

My life is a little crazy and I have made some choices that are questionable to who I am and what my character represents, but the beauty in that is that I am restored...always. Not am I only restored but I am okay with being a mess. Please tell me what 24 year old woman has the perfect life, does everything perfect, and never has to worry about anything. I'm okay with being who I am doing what I do, mistakes included. Because I get to learn from them. And in the end, who turns out to be a better person?

I do. 

So it's in these moments of chaos, confusion, and just mixed emotions about whatever is going on in my life that I really get to find out who I am. Questions of who I am and how I react to things are always answered in these unsure moments of my life. But even in these unsure moments, I am so happy I can truly say that I am happy. 

& really, what more can I ask for?