Divorce.

What does divorce mean to you? To me it means there was nothing else that could be done. There was nothing more that could have been worked out. It means that either one or both parties were living an unhappy and unhealthy life. It means that there were issues that went much deeper than repair. There were possibly one or both parties that were not interested in making it work, and putting the effort in. One or both parties were neglected for a period of time that soon became an unfixable place of hurt. 

But what does it mean to the world? Well let me tell you what I have personally experienced. When I tell people I am getting a divorce (yes only one and a half years after getting married) I suddenly feel and see their judgement pouring over me. I have heard "well, you just need to try harder" "God hates divorce" "you're not allowed to get divorced" and so on and so forth. Not only do I feel judgement but I have also been let down and almost abandoned by many of people in my life that I thought would always be there for me. It's sad to say the least, and I have struggled with this for quite some time. But what I really have to do is let go. 

Divorce is not easy. Whether you have been married for one year, five years, or thirty years...making that decision to actually sign a paper stating that you are no longer married is a huge decision. I never thought I would be able to make that decision, but I proved myself wrong - I really did. I'm not bragging about getting divorced. It's a very sad situation that after a short amount of time I could not find it within myself to make my marriage work no matter what it took, but I find rest and true peace in the fact that I am a better person because of my mistakes and what I have done. I am not ashamed. Sure, it stings a little every single time someone asks where this person is that has been there for so long and I have to answer "I am getting a divorce". Sure it is awkward every time I have to realize that I am that statistical 24 year old woman who has landed in the divorce percentage. 

But I also am so happy that I am who I am, and I know what is best for me in any given situation, especially right now. I know what I deserve and I know my worth. And best of all, God has forgiven me for every single thing that I have ever done to disappoint Him and anyone else. And that is ALL that matters to me. 

So no, divorce isn't easy, folks. But sometimes, whether you believe it or not, it is necessary.