Moving up to elementary school, I always had friends; I never hurt for attention and I even got my first kiss there (yeah, I guess I started young) In 5th grade, I was "dating" (dating...ha!) the most popular boy in school, Josh. And I would always think to myself how much I loved my life.
Moving up to middle school, I had it even more made. More friends...some old, a lot new. I went to the dances, I always had a boyfriend, I always had a best friend (Remember the fights between me, you, and Alex, Viktoria? Haha) and I even got into my first fight. What was it over? A boy! And I got rpc'd for the very first time.
Moving on up to high school, I started realizing my goal in life wasn't to be popular but to have good friends. I didn't make the best of grades and I went through a lot of CRAP in high school, but I got through it and I ALWAYS fit in a crowd somewhere. Always.
But now that I am 24, getting a divorce, and a lot of the people in my life have disappeared, where do I fit in now? Sure, I fit in at work I guess...people like me for the most part. But it doesn't give me any type of gratifying feeling. I guess I fit in at church, but I'm only there one day a week. I fit in with my family for the most part, but a lot of them have turned their backs on me (or so it feels.) and I have almost no friends (really the only one who talks to me consistently is best friend) so I don't really have a "group" like I always have that I feel I fit in with.
But you know what I discovered? I don't care. That's life. I'm a 24 year old business woman who may seem like her world is upside down but my world is exactly the way I want it.
I am who I am. I don't need to fit in anywhere. I am loved by those who love me, and I am hated by those who hate me. That's that. That's how it is. Life moves on. Plus, I am the child of God. I fit in with Him anytime. Even through my sins, my trials...I'm me!
I may not be perfect. But that's perfect to me :)
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